I loved this video of Olivia Wilde speaking about women’s image and portrayal and justice. I agree with her: the question we have to ask ourselves is—what can we do to change that image that society and the media have painted of women. Men do get the lead roles. It is difficult to finance a movie starring a female. So, what can we do to make movies that celebrate women more and show a more accurate picture of how strong and beautiful women really are? 

This inspired me to continue writing my script. It already has a lead female (me). However, Wilde’s speech also opened up my creative juices and I thought up of seven other movies that I want to write.  Movies showing the intelligence of a woman, movies showing the talents of a woman, movies showing the true inner beauty of a woman. I believe that it is important to celebrate  who we are as females. Don’t get me wrong: I do not have any intention of bashing men in the process. I think that defeats the purpose of making these movies. But I would like to create a film where women aren’t objectified. Not that I don’t like being beautiful and being admired as such, but I think there’s a big difference between presenting your beauty because you respect yourself enough to take care of yourself and presenting your beauty because you crave attention and affection. There is big difference.  All these magazines and media scream to women that there is something inherently wrong with them, that they need to lose weight, look prettier, wear better clothes, be as skinny as the photoshopped images that claim to be the ideal. But what is the ideal exactly? And why is it a size 2 with 7% body fat? How is that ideal? And who is that really ideal for? I don’t know any woman on the planet who enjoys feeling hungry all the time. Do you? I certainly hate the feeling. I think we as a society have become all too concerned with the damaging values. And it’s not just the men. We women are more guilty of this than they are. We hold more responsibility for this because we let this happen. We allow ourselves to be objectified and disregarded, and that can stop now. We have the power to respect ourselves enough to stop being mistreated. I’m not trying to step on the feminist soapbox and preach equal rights. I’m just advocating being treated with respect. I think that women were innately made to care and comfort and nurture. We were blessed with the greatest gift of all, which is to have the ability to bring a bring new person into this life. I think that should be celebrated.  Men—I’m not wanting to take away your duties. Go out there and provide. Work hard at your job, bring home the bacon, and protect your family with your strength. Just recognize that our jobs are just as hard and demanding. And if we want to make movies starring us, that should be celebrated too. We are also storytellers and deserve to have our stories told as well. We are the yang to your yin. That means that we compliment each other. That means that we provide each other with things that the other one needs. All I’m asking for is to respect us as your equal counterpart. You are not better than us. We are not better than you. We are part of the same puzzle that can create beautiful balance should we choose to work together.  Allow us the freedom to do what we do best. And ladies, stand up and walk away when they don’t respect you enough. We have to be able to tell them when they have crossed the line. It’s not okay to continue to allow them to disregard what we bring to the table. Respect yourself and love yourself to show all the wonderful things that you are as a woman and to walk away when you are not being recognized. We can make changes. It all starts with you. Let’s make a difference and a change in the way that women are viewed. Let’s bring back classy women. We have more power than we think.

YES TO THE YING: What empowers you? What can you do to empower yourself and those around you?

A dear friend of mine called me this weekend. He wanted to get back into the acting biz and wanted to know how to do so. I was so excited because he is super talented and got a great look. However, the first thing he said to me was, “So, I should probably find a monologue, huh?” Oh my dear friend... Not that you shouldn’t have a monologue in your back pocket, BUT… the industry has changed so much in the past 20 years. It is no longer good enough to be super talented and hope that someone will discover you at a casting. Technology has improved exponentially to the point where we have the internet and YouTube now and all submissions are now digital. Taped auditions are the new norm and having a reel is a requisite. It’s not just a picture and resume anymore. Actors access has the option to have a video slate (WHAT. I personally think that absurd).

In 2014, it’s not good enough to just be talented. You also have to be a business man/woman. You have to be an entrepreneur. You must brand yourself, market yourself, sell yourself, and hustle. Or you need to have YouTube videos of you with over a million hits. Ugh, where’s the fun in that? It sounds stressful and not fun at all.  I have a few friends who started getting into the biz 20 years ago.  They started their careers on shows like “Married with Children” and “90210” (the Luke Perry/Brandon Walsh version). They have griped to me about how back then it was so much simpler. They got called in to audition for a role, they brought their talent into the room, and if casting liked them or thought they were the ones for the job, they were hired. SO SIMPLE.

Nowadays, there are thousands upon thousands of people wanting to be an actor, reality competition shows are inundating our televisions searching for the next “star”, and even more people want their 5 minutes of fame posting their videos on YouTube hoping to have their video go viral. The odds are 1000 times harder to “get discovered” than before. Overwhelming? Feel like it’s pointless to even try? Don’t feel defeated! There’s a solution!

            All you need to do is TAKE ACTION & TELL YOUR STORY.  You actually have more control and more opportunities than you think you do.  That’s a good thing! With the advancement of technology, you can now:

·      Shoot your own scene, short film, web series, and movie. High quality video cameras are now super affordable. Hell, you can even shoot something on your iPhone and edit it with iMovie!

·      You can self-tape an audition and send it in to casting!

·      You can promote your film on social media and CONNECT WITH PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD!

But how can I possible stand out from the crowd??“ TELL YOUR STORY. Follow your bliss. Write and create films that inspire YOU. Put scenes on tape playing characters that you want to play. You are unique and different enough to stand out. Just tell your stories from your heart.

What speaks to you? What are you passionate about? What message do you want to spread? A lot of people write from their experiences, and I have to say: YOU CAN’T SCRIPT REAL LIFE ANY BETTER. Some of the best stories that I’ve heard are the ones that actually happened. You are the only person who has experienced your life. Your story might be similar to someone else’s, but guess what? That’s okay! Because that makes you RELATABLE. So, BE BOLD & BE YOU! You are special enough to stand out. No one can be a better you than you.

SAY YES TO THE YING: What’s your story?

Rock the Love,
Alicia

#yestotheying

Happy Monday! As you start out your week, I want to ask you: ARE YOU FOLLOWING YOUR ARROW? What does that mean, Alicia? Good question! Read on and I’ll explain!

Superbowl Sunday was a pretty eventful day. Seahawks destroyed the Broncos in a game where everyone thought they would lose, despite Peyton Mannings embarrassing loss, people still acknowledged how great of a season he has had, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman died of a drug overdose at a mere 46 years old (RIP).  I started to wonder: what do I want to be remembered for? What legacy am I leaving behind?

As I pondered over this, I came to the conclusion that I want to be known for doing something great. And the only way I can do something great is to do something that I love and “follow my arrow.” Listen to the song. It’s good! For those of you who can’t stand country music (give it a chance! Apparently, country music is the white man’s R&B!), I have written the lyrics to the song at the bottom of this post for you to read.

Why do I love this song so much? I love the message. DO YOU. Follow your arrow. Follow your bliss. Do what you want to do.  As we all have experienced in life, there are ALWAYS—and I mean ALWAYS—gonna be haters and people who don’t approve of what you are doing. Why focus your attention on pleasing those people when there are far more people out there who support what you do? And to go one step further, who care what ANYONE thinks of you because all that really matters is WHAT YOU THINK OF YOURSELF. Life is short. So, do what YOU wanna do. It’s your life. Live it the way you want to live it.

STORY TIME: After I got out of high school, my mom decided that I was no longer going to sing and dance and do theater. It was just a hobby to get you through the my and daddy’s divorce. That’s what she said. Being the dutiful daughter that I am, I went to college and started studying international business (because I spoke 4 languages and was gonna pick up another 3 in college—I’m Asian, what do you expect?!). I tried to do it her way for freshman year. And let me tell you, I was MISERABLE. I was bored, I hated all my classes, and the only thing I did like was my marketing class because my classmates would always pick me to do the presentation (yes, I sold my products like a star!). After a year of hellacious boredom, I decided to try out for the mainstage play. Fuck it, right? If I got in, great! It was a sign from the universe that I was good at this acting thing and should pursue it. If I didn’t get in, then fine. I’ll continue along my path of spreadsheets fulfill my mom’s dream of me working for the U.N. or being a translator for some rich business executive. Kill me now. So, I went and auditioned. And I got in. WHAT?! I was beaming. I knew this was my calling, so I pursued it. What did your mom say? Did she approve? Haha, no. My mom FLIPPED OUT. She screamed, “What are you gonna do?! Play all day?! You not gonna make any money in acting! Is too hard!” She was right about one thing: it was going to be hard. It’s still hard. But you know something? I couldn’t imagine doing anything else in my life than to use my artistic talents to tell stories and make people happy.  My mom yelled at me constantly about my rash and childish choice.  But when she saw me perform the lead role in a musical on the FOX Theater’s stage (the big theater house in Atlanta where all the big shows perform when they come through town), she was giddy with excitement. She video taped the whole thing from her front row seats (don’t know how she got away with that), and was beaming with pride. Afterwards, she congratulated me on my performance and declared, “I knew you should be acting from day one! You always shine on da stage. Ever since you were little, people always say, ‘Your daughter so talented! I can’t take my eyes off of her!’ Listen to Mommy. Act more. Mommy always knows best!” I just looked at her and laughed. I love her so much and was so thankful to have her support.

She was my toughest critic and even she became a fan. Not because she was my mom, but because she saw how much singing and acting made me so freaking happy. I believe that happiness is the “X-factor” or “je ne sais qua” that we all see in those A-List celebrity stars. They love what they do and follow their arrow. And it shines through in this unexplainable way. It’s magical.

So, WHAT’S YOUR ARROW? What makes your heart sing? If you love acting, THEN ACT. If you love writing, then WRITE. If you love singing, THEN SING! The only way to truly make great work is to do it from a place of happiness. And if your passion or bliss has changed, that’s okay! It’s never too late to start a new path. So, if you now want to produce films or direct them, then star doing that. If it’s becoming a yoga teacher and spread the yogi peace and lifestyle to others, then do that! Whatever it is, follow your bliss. You’ll be much happier. Once you start following your arrow and really love yourself, people are going to notice and they are going to shower you with so admiration and respect. You’re lovely. Own it.

SAY YES TO THE YING: What’s your “arrow?” What is your passion? What makes your heart sing?

Rock the Love,
Alicia

#yestotheying

"Follow Your Arrow"

If you save yourself for marriage
You're a bore
If you don't save yourself for marriage
You're a horrible person
If you won't have a drink
Then you're a prude
But they'll call you a drunk
As soon as you down the first one

If you can't lose the weight
Then you're just fat
But if you lose too much
Then you're on crack
You're damned if you do
And you're damned if you don't
So you might as well just do
Whatever you want
So

Make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that's something you're into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, or don't
Just follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points

If you don't go to church
You'll go to hell
If you're the first one
On the front row
You're self-righteous
Son of a-
Can't win for losing
You'll just disappoint 'em
Just 'cause you can't beat 'em
Don't mean you should join 'em

So make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that's something you're into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, or don't
Just follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points

Say what you think
Love who you love
'Cause you just get
So many trips 'round the sun
Yeah, you only
Only live once

So make lots of noise
Kiss lots of boys
Or kiss lots of girls
If that's what you're into
When the straight and narrow
Gets a little too straight
Roll up a joint, I would
And follow your arrow
Wherever it points, yeah
Follow your arrow
Wherever it points